"Samrah... aur tez... aur tez bhaago, Samrah..."
Yaadon ka ek siyah aur dushwar jungle tha, jahan har taraf andhera pheli hui
thi. Mere paon kisi zameen ko chho hi nahi rahe thay, jaise main hawa mein bhaag
rahi hoon ek be-wazan, ghutan bhare khauf mein. Meri aankhon ke aage bas kaali
raat thi, aur peeche se dabe-dabe lehje mein aati hui awaazein.
"Rona band karo, Samrah! Poori jaan laga kar bas bhaagna hai!"
Main apne aap se bar-bar kehti rahi, lekin mere aansu thay ke rukne ka naam hi
nahi le rahe thay. Mere gaal bheeg gaye thay, saans phool gayi thi, phir bhi
main bas bhaag rahi thi.
"SAMRAH!"
Main ek zordaar jhatke se uthi. Maathe par pasina tha ya aankhon ke aansu, main
khud bhi samajh nahi paayi. Seene mein meri dhadkan is tarah thokar maar rahi
thi jaise abhi qafas (cage) tod kar bahar aa jayegi.
Ghari dekhi to subah ke 4:00 baj rahe thay. Wahi khwab... wahi sadiyon purani
wehshat (dread).
Maine apne bechain dil ko samjhaya, khud ko khud hi chup karaya aur uth kar
washroom ki taraf chal di. Yeh Tahajjud ada karne ka waqt tha.
Maine safed cotton ki ek loose kurti aur safed palazzo pehna. Namaz ke liye
maine ek bada sa baby pink dupatta liya, jo is waqt mere liye sirf kapra nahi,
jaise mere bikhre wajood ka sab se bada sahara ban gaya tha. Har sajde mein main
lambe, bohot lambe arsay tak girti rahi, jaise sajda hi mera wahid ghar ho, meri
aakhri panah-gah.
Jab maine Quran khola, to Surah ar-Rahman mere samne aa gayi. Uske har ek lafz
ke sath meri aankhon se moti tapak rahe thay, jaise shabnam ke qatre mere maazi
ke zakhmon par Allah ki rehmatein gin rahe hon. Surah abhi poori hui bhi nahi
thi ke Fajr ki azaan ki awaaz fiza mein goonjne lagi. Main foran se Quran Sharif
band karke Fajr ki namaz ada karne khadi ho gayi.
Namaz ke baad maine tayyar hone ka faisla kiya, kyunke aaj meri site visit thi.
Maine wardrobe se ek oversized magenta shirt nikali, neeche loose fit light-wash
jeans, aur safed hijab ke sath safed sneakers pehne. Yeh magenta rang bohot
zinda tha ek defiant (baghi) rang. Jaise subah ki pehli kiran raat ke kaale
andhere ko cheerti hai, yeh rang mere andar ki chhupi hui udaasi ke bilkul
bar-aks (opposite) tha.
Maine apna mobile check kiya. Arham ka email aaya hua tha. Mere honton par ek
tanz-bhari, be-jaan si muskaan aa gayi. Yeh sapat aur khushk jawab to maine unse
expect kiya hi tha.
Neeche dining table par ghar walon ke sath nashta hua. Hamesha ki tarah, aaj bhi
chachi ki taraf se meri zat par kai chubhte huye taane phenke gaye. Maine unhein
ansuna kiya, khamoshi se apna nashta kiya aur car ki chaabi utha kar nikal gayi.
Yeh mera roz ka routine tha paanch saal purana be-raham routine. Ab mujhe in
baaton ki koi parwah hi nahi rahi thi.
Car start karte hue maine dheere se khud se kaha: "Chalein phir, Samrah… chalte hain."
Fajr ki namaz aur jogging ke baad main dining table par baitha tha. Mere chehre
par wahi sapat thandak thi jo subah ki dhoop deti hai.
"Beta, project kaisa jaa raha hai Samrah beti ke sath?" Abbu, Sabir Shaikh, ne
mujhse sawal kiya. "Bas theek jaa raha hai," maine nihayat mukhtasar jawab diya,
apni nazrein plate par jamaye hue. "Samrah bohot zaheen aur samajhdar larki
hai," Abbu ne sargoshi ki.
Main chup raha. Na tasleem, na inkari.
Gaari lekar main ghar se nikla hi tha ke Muhib mere barabar mein aa kar khara ho
gaya. "Bhai, mujhe university drop kar dena." Maine uski taraf dekha tak nahi,
bas steering wheel thame raha. Gaari mein ek gehri khamoshi thi, ke tabhi Muhib
ne mere samne aik bomb gira diya.
"Bhai... maafi maang li?"
Maine jhat se uski taraf ghoora. "Tum isliye meri gaari mein aaye ho?" Muhib ne
masoomiyat se muskura kar jawab diya, "Nahi, bas dekhna hai ke mera khadus bhai
ek larki se kaise sorry bolega."
"Ohh noo!!" Muhib ne achanak apna mobile dekhte hue kaha. "Kya hua?" maine aaram
se pucha. "Bhai! Hum logon ki site visit rakh di hai aaj! Aap mujhe uni drop kar
dein, main wahin se chala jaunga." "Address batao mujhe," maine kaha. Usne apna
mobile mere samne kiya. "Hmm, mera project bhi yahi chal raha hai." "Arrey waah
bhai! Lagta hai aaj Allah-Tala ka favor poori tarah meri taraf hai," woh apni
shararti lehje mein bola.
Maine usey poori tarah ignore kiya. Steering wheel par apne dono hath kas liye
aur saari tawajjo road par jama di. Lekin mere dil ke andar ek hi sawal musalsal
ghoom raha tha: main usse maafi kaise maangu? Mujhe kya bolna chahiye?
Hum site par pahunche. Har taraf dhool, mitti, shor aur workers ke chillane ki
awaazein theen. Subah ke 9 baj rahe thay aur thandi-thandi dhoop khili hui thi.
Aur phir... maine use dekha.
Samrah.
Oversized magenta shirt mein, safed hijab ke neeche se uski kuch zulfein bahar
nikal kar dhoop mein sunehri chamak rahi theen. Uski aankhon ka rang... jaise
shahad ka ek gehra dariya ho. Uske gaal subah ki dhoop se aur bhi gulabi lag
rahe thay.
Main, jo aaj site visit ke hisab se ek khubsurat, light brown rang ka collared
sweater aur kaali pant pehne hue tha, maine ek hath se apne baal set kiye aur
dusra hath pant ki pocket mein daal liya. Sunglasses pehne hue ab main
dheere-dheere Samrah ki taraf barha. Meri nazar bas us par jami hui thi.
Samrah ne mujhe door se hi dekh liya tha, magar woh jaan-bujh kar door hi rahi.
Har dafa jab main uske paas aane ki koshish karta, woh kisi dusri side chal
deti. Jaise main is dunya mein exist hi nahi karta tha.
Dophar ka waqt ho chuka tha. Workers apna lunch kar rahe thay aur students
groups bana kar baith gaye thay. Lekin mera chaand kahin dikhai nahi de raha
tha. Mere andar ek bechaini uthne lagi.
Muhib mere paas aaya aur has kar bola, "Bhai, aap bhi aa jao! Kuch kha zaroor
lena! Aur zaroori kaam... mera wala bhi yaad rakhna!" Maine usey ignore kiya aur
Samrah ko dhoondne nikal gaya. Woh building ke paas hi khari thi, mobile par
shayad kisi ko call karne wali thi.
Maine aage barh kar salam kiya. Samrah ne meri taraf bina dekhe, sapat lehje
mein salam ka jawab diya aur apna muh pher liya.
"Miss Samrah, ek minute please," maine kaha. Woh mudi aur idhar-udhar dekhte hue
boli, "Bolein, ab kya bolna hai?" "Aap kuch khane ke liye laayin hain ya nahi?"
Samrah ne sawaliya eyebrow uthayi aur tanz se pucha, "Aap ko koi pareshani hai
isse bhi?" "Nahi, bas pooch raha tha. Actually, yahin thori door par ek dhaba
hai. To agar aap bura na maanein, to mujhe apologise karne ka ek mauqa to aap de
hi sakti hain."
Main is waqt bohot umeed-bhari nazron se usey dekh raha tha. Samrah ne mujhe
ghaur se ghoora. Ab uski aankhon par dhoop nahi aa rahi thi, kyunke mera lamba
qad uske samne dhaal ban kar khara tha. Samrah ne meri aankhon mein dekhte hue,
hath baandh kar pucha:
"Where is your car?"
Maine ek bari muskurahat ke sath apni car ki taraf ishara kiya. Samrah khamoshi
se car ki taraf chalne lagi, aur main apne chaand ke peeche-peeche chal pada.
Car ka safar be-inteha khamoshi mein guzar raha tha. Dhaba aa gaya, aur hum dono
ek khali table par baith gaye. Ek teenager larke ne aakar humara order liya.
"Kuch halka hi khana hai, sabzi roti manga lein," Samrah ne kaha. Maine khane ke
sath-sath do glass nimbu paani ka bhi order de diya.
Khana shuru hua. Roti bohot garam thi, to main usey thonda thonda kar ke Samrah
ki taraf barha raha tha, jis par usne kuch khaas dhyan nahi diya.
"Miss Samrah," maine bolna shuru kiya. "Woh... mujhe aapse kal ke baare mein
kuch bolna tha." "Jee, boliye." "Main jaanta hoon, mujhe woh word use nahi karna
chahiye tha, woh bhi meeting mein sab ke saamne. Main koi wazahat nahi doonga,
lekin I am sorry. Aur ye main apni ghalti dil se mehsoos karne ke baad hi bol
raha hoon."
Samrah chup rahi. "Aap kuch bol nahi rahi hain?" maine pucha. "Main kaise maan
loon ke aap sharminda hain apni ki gayi harkat pe?" usne pucha. "Aap ki company
aur meri company ko ek lamba safar tay karna hai. Is dauran, aap jo chahein
karwa ke dekh lein jis se aap ko tasalli ho jaye ke main sach mein sharminda
hoon," maine nihayat masoomiyat se uski aankhon mein dekhte hue kaha. "Agar phir
bhi mujhe bharosa nahi hua to...?" Main thora muskuraya. "Main aap ko mujh par
bharosa na karne ka mauqa hi nahi doonga."
Ab Samrah ne mujhe ghaur se dekha. Uske muh mein roti ka ek niwala tha aur uske
gaal phoole hue thay... woh bilkul ek choti si bachi dikh rahi thi. Main usey
dekh kar apni hansi rok nahi paya.
"Kya baat hai? Ab aap aise kyun has rahe hain?" Samrah chonki. "Jee? Main hasa?
Nahi to, bas kuch nahi."
Itne mein hi uske phone par Sheiza ka call aaya. Samrah ne usey pyar se samjha
kar call kaat di. Bill pay karne ke baad, hum dono ne nimbu paani piya aur do
parcel lekar car mein baith gaye. Maine parcel Samrah ke haath mein dete hue
bola, "Ye aap ke liye, dhoop bohot hai."
Samrah ne pehle mana kiya, lekin main nahi maana. "Ek aap le lein, ek main le
leti hoon. Equal," usne ek muskurahat ke sath kaha aur ek pack meri taraf barha
diya.
Mera wajood jaise wahin thum gaya tha. Itna sab, ek hi din mein? Mera dil yeh
khushi kaise sahega? Main kuch bol na saka, bas "Thanks" keh kar car start kar
di.
Sheiza ka Nuqta-e-Nazar
Site par lunch ke baad saare students yahan-wahan ghoom rahe thay. Main ek bade
pathar par bethi thi aur mere samne meri ek dost thi jise main apni baatein suna
rahi thi. Maine apna ek hath khud se kuch doori par kiya aur bottle ke paani se
hath dhone lagi ke tabhi achanak ek zordaar awaaz aayi:
"Ohhh!!! Shitt! Andhi ho kya!!??"
Maine chaunk kar dekha. Ek lamba sa larka, striped shirt aur dheeli kaali jeans
pehne mere barabar mein khara tha.
"Aankhein to mujhe khair sahi dikh rahi hain," usne mere bheegay kapray dekh kar
tanz se kaha. "Alhamdulillah, meri to bilkul sahi hain!" maine palat kar jhat se
jawab diya. "Meri to khair se aankhein bohot theek hain. Lekin lagta hai aap ke
existence mein hi koi defect hai!"
Wahan khade do-teen students hansi daba gaye.
"Tumhari zubaan bohot tez hai," woh apne daanton ke beech se gusse mein bola.
"Junior ho kar itna attitude? Zyada mat uchhlo."
Maine apne baal peeche kiye aur uski aankhon mein aankhein daal kar boli, "Sirf
height zyada hone se banda bara nahi ban jata. Aur waise bhi, uchhalna to main
sirf trampoline par karti hoon. Aap ko tension lene ki zarurat nahi hai."
Muhib ka chehra gusse se laal ho gaya. "Tum!!!!" "Mai kya?" maine beech
mein hi baat kaat di. "Pehle larki se baat karne ki tameez seekh lo mujhse, phir
apna dialogue complete karna!"
Hum dono dhabe se laut aaye thay. Site par ek kone mein saare university
students ka ek bada hujoom laga tha, aur hum dono us taraf barhe. Sheiza aur...
yeh... shayad... Muhib? Dono aapas mein buri tarah behas kar rahe thay.
Maine aage barh kar Sheiza ko peeche khinch liya. "Kya hua?" Dusri taraf Arham
ne Muhib ko alag kiya.
Sheiza ne gusse mein Arham ki taraf dekh kar kaha, "Bhai, yeh jo bhi aap ka
rishtedar hai, inko tameez seekhne ki zaroorat hai, khaskar ke ladkio se baat
karne ki." (Sheiza ne Arham ko 'Bhai' kaha kyunke woh un ke rishte mein aate
thay).
Phir usne meri taraf rukh kiya aur boli, "Aapi, main bus se jaa rahi hoon. Aap
khayal rakhna." Maine ek narm muskaan ke sath sar hila diya. "Sambhal kar jana,
mujhe message kar dena."
Shaam ke 4:30 par main ghar ke liye rawana ho gayi. Dhoop dhalne ke sath meri magenta shirt ka rang aur bhi gehra lag raha tha.
Main dhoop ke dhalne ke sath dhabe ke raste par khara door tak jaati hui uski
gaari ko dekhta raha. Mera dil abhi bhi bechain tha, aur ek sawaal mere zehen
mein goonj raha tha:
Kya main usey deserve karta hoon?
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